This is our second year without you Matt. I'm struggling in the deep today. I think about last year and trying to be a new family with Stephen..and how that turned out.
It's rough.
There's really not one thing in particular that I'm dwelling on...just the empty that is still here, in me.
I'm not proud of a lot of things lately and I have regrets. It's an easy hole to fall into if I'm not careful, and most of the time lately is spent not being careful.
I am grateful though. I'm grateful to be here where I am now, to be able to help your parents.
I'm grateful to have our kids. I don't have any answers on how to take care of them for the long haul, but I'm trying to love them more.
I'm grateful for your example Matt. I suck at following it, but I'm trying. I still don't understand any of this...but for now I'm grateful for the tiny bit of hope that hasn't been smothered.
1 comment:
Are you still off your phone and media? I want to talk to you and see how you are. Let me know!
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