wanderings of a woman and her family

For my talk Bishop Ardizzone asked me to speak on happiness. Being happy is not something that comes easily to me, just ask Matt:) I tend to be on what I like to call the "realist" side of the fence. As I think most of you know I am a convert. My parents are divorced and have been since I was very young. I'm the only child between the two of them, and I've got 4 other brothers and sisters. Both my parents did drugs and drank. Both remarried to less than awesome people, but never fear, I'm not bitter...today:) So all in all those are my excuses for being a realist.

So with that background let's jump to senior year. Graduation came and went. After graduation I started working at Wal-mart. Matt worked there also. We met, dated for a few months, and he decides to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with me. He wanted me to decide I wanted to continue our relationship by taking the lessons with the missionaries, or call it good because he needed someone in his faith. I came upon Matt at the most spiritual point in his life because he "was" prepping to go on a mission until I, the spawn of all un-holiness, entered his life:) But he held fast, kept the gospel close to his heart and called me out on my life. I am forever grateful for that. So obviously I chose the right...so to speak:) Which brings me to the subject of this rant, Happiness.

In the index under happiness it says"see also, blessed". D&C 34:4 says: And blessed are you because you have believed". Believed,...what is it that I believe that has given me the blessing of happiness? Alma 46:41 says "but there were many who died with old age, and those who died in the faith of Christ are happy in him, as we must needs suppose". Now obviously I'm not dieing, and I'm not in old age yet, but I have faith in Christ. I love my Savior. Really. It's taken me 6 years to figure out my favorite hymn and it's 'I;m trying to be like Jesus'. It touches my soul.

I believe in eternal families. This subject alone is hard for me to get through without being a spiritually touched weeping soul:) I never saw myself getting married. Definitely not having kids. The sheer amount of happiness that I have knowing we are bound forever and ever is amazing. That fact alone is half the reason I love this gospel so much.

The reason why I am standing here, shaking at the knees, is because I believe the gospel of Jesus Christ. Since joining, I have turned into a big believer of 'signs' and things happening for a reason, just as long as they are in my favor:) Just kidding....sort of:) So it really is no wonder to me that Bishop asked me to speak on a topic that I strive hard to achieve all the time. Heavenly Father knows me. He knows what I need to learn. He is very aware of my belief and faith in him and the gospel. He also knows that I let Satan into my mind, which throws me off course. Alma 38:2 says" And now, my son, I trust that I shall have great joy in you, because of your steadiness and your faithfulness unto God; for as you have commenced in your youth to look to the Lord your God, even so I hope that you will continue in keeping his commandments; for blessed is he that endureth to the end". The last part of that scripture is important. For blessed is he that endureth to the end. President Hinckley said " it is the only way you will find peace and happiness in your lives, and you will find peace and happiness if you live the gospel".

There's my answer. Live the gospel till the end and be blessed with peace and happiness. Simple, so simple and the hardest thing at times. It shouldn't be hard. What's hard about reading scriptures, praying, going to church, the Temple? Satan is hard. If I'm honest here for a second, I'd like to donkey punch him in the face. I apologize for any visual or spirit detraction that may have caused:)

My Aunt sent me a few things from a book she has by Wendy Watson Nelson. Amidst these notes was a poem by a student in New Zealand. It's called " Not even once";
-everyone's doing it
just once is ok
these beguiling words
we face each day
-when faced with temptation
do i falter or waiver?
will the Lord excuse
a little sinful behavior?
-the Lord loves me
then why should i doubt?
though devils assail and
their successors they tout
-pluck up your courage
and today begin
to follow the Lord
NOT the author of sin
-everyone's doing it
what sorrow that brings
stand strong in the truth
my faith gives me wings
-i will fly above
all that is sin and vice
i won't give on once
for that leads to twice
-Not even once!
is the clarion call
remember this always
walk strong and tall

Walk strong and tall. I've got the stepping stones to have happiness in my life always. It's alot like the Spirit for me. I think they go hand in hand. If I'm doing the right things, I have the blessing of the Spirit to guide me, much like doing the right things and having happiness abound. Happiness is in me, I just need to keep it alive. I'd like to end with two things. One is a verse of the the hymn I spoke about: I'm trying to be like Jesus, I'm following in his ways. I'm trying to live as he did, in all that i do and say. At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice, but I try to listen as the still small voice whispers, love one another as Jesus loves you, try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought , for these are the things Jesus taught.

And two, my testimony*. I'm grateful I was able to speak today. I love my Savior. I know this church is true. I love my family so much. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

*I can't quite remember what I said in my testimony:)

only nice comments please...no pokin fun:)