Monday, January 23, 2017

Once upon a time my heart broke

The house is quiet. I've just said goodnight to our oldest son. Conner lays beside me softly snoring. I put my phone down because I remember that I won't talk to you tonight. It aches Matt. My heart is so sad. I didn't know a heart could feel so heavy and vulnerable. 
I can't seem to wake up from this nightmare. Yesterday afternoon has been on repeat in mind. 
medical emergency
he passed away
medical emergency
he passed away
Is this real? It can't be. Not you Matt. You loved me too much to want to do this to me. 
"I love the hell out of you Meggan"
"I know you get tired of hearing me say it all the time, but I love you"
"I just don't think you LOVE you". 
No Matt. I freaking love you. I love everything about you. How did I deserve the gift of being your wife? 
I am so tired. So very tired. Be with me tonight. Hold me in your arms. Tell me you love me one more time. 

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Chris and Brittany said...

(((((Hugs)))))) I can't even imagine.

Ninny said...

Tears. So many tears. I'm so sorry.

CathyAnne said...

I have so many tears for you too Meggie 😢

Courtney Bailey said...

Oh meggan! My heart hurts so much for you! I wish I could piece yours back together!

Erin Moore said...

Words can never lesson the pain but Matt and you have five gifts of Love that he is depending on you to Love and with Christ as your Head you will see yours blessings one at a time 😘😘😘💔