It's been a while since my last post.
It would be nice to say that this was all a nightmare and I finally woke up.
But that isn't so.
I spend my days trying to keep busy and keep my mind on the moment instead of dwelling on things that won't ever be changed.
The kids are doing mostly 'ok'. Miss C seems to be doing the worst. There's two reasons for that I think. The first being that she's 7 1/2, and I really despised this age with Mr. B as well. It's best described as something out of a Stephen King novel. Cujo. Carrie. The Poltergeist...although I'm not sure he authored that one. And the second cause of her issues are obviously her Dad dying. She's an angry elf.
The boys are my favorites right now. They still have their own drama but they are way less stressful than the girls.
I need to be a better Mom. I feel like all of general conference has been telling me to be charitable and mild tempered, and soft spoken. All things that I am not. So how do I train myself to be this person that I know God wants me to be? Still figuring it out.
I need my husband. In the flesh. And breathing. I think that's the hardest part of all this crap. I literally don't know what I am supposed to be doing with my life now. And the answer to that prayer is either taking it's sweet time coming, or I'm not hearing it and I am desperate to hear it.