Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What's behind door number 3 Johnny?

What happens when there aren't any good, "normal" shows on the tv? You find things to watch. Our poison last night? Alaska's Most Extreme. The title alone should make you think twice about what you may be getting yourself into. I mean...sure there are shows that bolster "the most extreme", but that usually encompasses things from ALL over the world...not just one state!
Basically what this hour long TV program taught me is that I have a multiple array of things that could kill me while living here.No boring old age to take me now!
There are:
Moose attacks
Bear attacks
and of course starvation because it's too expensive to buy food here!
You thought I was kidding? I think I've narrowed it down to how I want to go. But I'm going to go through the ways I don't want to go first.
I don't want to go in an avalanche. This is because I think the way that would go down is by suffocation. I say this because I most likely would be driving on the highway through the danger zone and I'm not sure it would kill me in impact. I don't want to be stuck in my mind thinking about how awful it is to be dying. 
I don't want to be trampled to death by a moose. This is pretty self explanatory. They are huge and unless it had some skill on where to hit me with a death blow...this is also a suffering way to go. No good. I saw a video on the show of one going hog wild on an old man. No thank you!
Same with a bear attack. I will stay in the middle of Anchorage if it means I will never see a bear! Grizzlies are the most dangerous bear and Alaska has roughly at least 25,000 of them running around!
Alaska has 40 active volcanoes! 40! And one of them last erupted in 1989 I think it said. Enough to cause wide spread panic for masks and water and all first aid supplies. And since we are on a super tight budget, I'm not sure we could even get in on the buying things to save us! I'm not so much worried about the lava...but the ash. Slow, drawn out death...again, no thank you. 
Tsunamis. This is a definite NO. I do not want to drown. Absolutely horrible way to die. You can think you can hold your breath that long and then....done. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it!
So I think the way I want to go would be in an earthquake. But only under these conditions! I want to be sleeping and I want it to be bad enough that the building just collapses and I don't know the difference:) Lol...shouldn't be too bad eh? So if I die in Alaska before the ripe old age of....100 those are my stipulations!
This was a bit more winded than I expected...hehe. But on another note....don't let this deter anyone from visiting me! You'll be fiiiiine! Nothing at all to worry about:)

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Jenn said...

LOL You have WAY too much time to think on your hands :)

love you! Text me today when you get a chance!

Nana S. said...

I am with you !!!!! Let me go quick and easy, Lord. But then, I'm a coward without the spirit of adventure !!!!! Enjoy.

Undaunted ~ My Life One Day at a Time said...

LOL, that was a bit morbid, but then I always thought freezing to death would be better because you just go to sleep and don't know your gone. I would stay away from those kinds of show if I were you. ;) Good luck not being trampled by a moose.

Katrina said...

WOW... well at least you know your pit falls there in good ole AK. But this an adventure remember and you are learning lots of things. LOL... Stay healthy and don't let those things get my grand babies please...L:)

Jenn said...

HA! This is the funniest thing I've read in so long. Now I really want to take a vacation there. This morning I even told the kids we were moving there because they were complaining about the "cold" 51 degree weather.

Lildonbro said...

While I agree that ash is an unpleasant side effect of dying by volcano...I still wouldn't want to die by lava - I mean, I don't want to melt away like a stick of butter.

Makes me sad and gag at the same time.