So how was your day?

I'm quite sure that my child is going to drive me to the point of clinical insanity. 

No joke.

I have never in my life experienced dealing with a child that is as contrary, defiant, or strong willed as my daughter. 

Today was like something straight out of the manuscript for groundhog's day. She does something naughty. I tell her to go to timeout. She says no. I put her in timeout and she turns around and gets out of timeout. I count to three, with 3 going to her room for timeout. 

1, 2, 3

Up to her room I drag her because her feet and legs have quit moving by themselves. Hoist anchor. 

It's funny how heavy 32lbs gets when it's dead weight. 

Crying and pitching a fit the whole way. 

And I think to myself "what have I done to possibly warrant this"? 

Repeat scenario at least 3 times.

In between one of these timeouts I catch a blog of a mother with 5.5 kids. This particular post was about how her children got lost outside playing so they knelt down to pray and got help to get home. 

And then there's my kids. 

I really try not to compare myself to other Mom's but it's really quite hard when I have such a difficult child and no one really understands it. I get looks like "are you following through", or "your kid is completely out of control", and "good luck with that". 

I do follow though. 

I know my kid is out of control.

I don't need luck, I need an exorcism! 

This child is exhausting. 

I try not to take it personally, but how can't I when the words "I hate you" and "I hate Mom" spew forth from her 4 year old mouth? 

"They" say one day I'll look back on it and laugh. And they are probably right. From my cell, sitting on my mattress with a straight jacket on. 

 

Pride

I've got a friend that just started a blog to document the things that she does to keep herself sane. She has 5 kids of her own and her husband has another 4. So at any given time this woman, who is also younger than me, has 9 kids around. 

The first thing she writes about is how she was feeling awful one day and thinking back on why she realized that it was because she hadn't read her scriptures*. I immediately thought to myself that this was a direct message to me about how awful I am and how she knows it and is writing this post for me. Really? She doesn't know if I am or am not reading. (which obviously I'm not) so why the big fuss? Because I feel guilty. And why do I feel guilty? Because I'm not doing something that does in fact help my mood.  And why don't I do something that is a guaranteed mood enhancer? 

Because I'm prideful. 

Same reason that I don't reach out and ask for help when I want to give my kids away.

Which brings me to another problem. 

Why couldn't I be one of those women that just LOVES being a stay at home Mom and does awesome things with her kids?

And doesn't call them annoying? And doesn't relish in their 7 o'clock bedtime because it means that I have a break? And doesn't have anxiety attacks when she has to bring them to the store? 

I want to be THAT Mom. 

But I'm not. So I'll just vent away here on my little space in blog land. Hopefully none of you are judging me. But if you are...you're first in line after me :)

when it's ok to mess your pants

It's been one heck of a morning around here. It started off with a 4.6 magnitude earthquake, with an epicenter of about 8 miles, south of my house. It's the biggest I have felt since we moved here and unlike the others one. I was laying in bed and the bed started to shake a little. I knew right away that it was an earthquake. Then the shaking got a little more intense and the noise our house made was what creeped me out the most. It sounded like the roof could have just broken right off! Of course, me being super worried, just kept laying in bed waiting to see what would happen next. But that was the worst of it. It died of with some tremors and didn't even wake up the kids. (which is what I worried most about;))

And as is typical fashion, I grabbed my phone, opened up facebook and told the world about it. One of my Anchorage friends wrote that her Mom instincts kicked in and she grabbed one kid and went for the other. I didn't. I'm trying to figure out why I didn't instantly go into panic mode and the best I can come up with is that I'm not entirely sure what to do in the event of a massive earthquake? Sassy pants practices earthquake drills at school and they all get under their desks. Which makes me laugh and think of back when schools were doing nuclear drills and telling the kids to go under their desks....yah...cause that will save you! Lol. But seriously...what's proper precaution? The desk? A door frame? In this case we were all still upstairs...would that be safest? The least amount of rubble to fall and kill you?

Food for thought.

After that morning excitement I decided to go out and take the kids for a walk using the jogger. Cause I was going to run. Was.

And this situation really ties into my paranoia of being eaten by a bear. Cause it could happen. Anyway!

Running down the road (Yes, running at this point) I've got one headphone in listening to music and half listening to she-devil my daughter ask me "what this is" and "what that is". I can't hear her entirely so I stop, ask her what she said and glance to my left and there's a baby moose. I kid you not...right. NEXT. TO. ME! The first thought that goes in my mind is "baby moose...where's the Mom"?! I bet I looked like some cracked out white mom on meth with how much I was looking ahead/around/back trying to find sweet baby moose's killer Mom! I only dared take one picture for fear I was going to have to leave my children as fodder while I ran away beat off a wild animal with no positive outcome. And this is in Anchorage people. The middle of the freaking city!

And the picture isn't even of the one right next to me cause I was walking away from the death trap. I should have though. Cause now I feel like I just look like a crazy person. Oh well. It was there. And I was scared.

Moral of the story...when situations arise...it's ok to mess your pants.

Really Irene...

So in the land of nod there was a hurricane scaring everyone out of their panties.

Which got me thinking...

The thing that makes me chuckle most, are people rushing to the store to stock up on things that they should already have. 

I read a news piece the other day about our governor calling for people to be more prepared because, well, Alaska is known for it's hard winters and earthquakes. As I was reading the comments there was a fair amount of ridicule towards this leader. They compared him to other "failed" leadership. Now I read that and thought...yah, you are right Mr. Governor. I need to be getting my house in order. I need to be getting my food storage built up. I need to be building a nest egg while getting out of debt.  

So where do you fall? Are you the people on the land telling Noah he's a fool for preparing for the flood? Now I'm certainly not saying my governor is a prophet, but inspired, definitely. I'm not however falling into the 'end of the world in 2012' club. I don't think it will be that soon. But do I think it's going to get worse? Absolutely. Which makes preparation such a key element. Which also reminds me that we need a gun. Or two. I also need to learn how to use one. Believe me, when it does get worse you can bet your kiester that I won't be sharing and I won't let it be stolen. Ok, I might share. Maybe. You could knock three times and ask. No promises though!

So will you be prepared when the world goes to pot?

Is it possible

Here I am. It's the middle of July. We get the keys to our new place the 28th. The hubs gets home the 30th. Sassy pants gets registered for kindergarten the 2nd of August. She-devil has a birthday on the 25th of August. I can't believe it. The time is coming faster than it seems to be going by.

Does that make sense? It does in my mind. 

Two years. It has been two years since this spit fire little girl has blessed us with her presence. And just yesterday I was pregnant with sassy pants. Ever hopeful to start our cute little family and be great parents. Well we started our cute family...not sure what happened to the "great parents" part.  haha. 

In other news, my sister is still talking about coming out here for school. I am really trying to keep an even keel so 'if' she doesn't come I'm ok. Wow, I had a lot of things blogger-worthy and now I can't focus to save my life. Must be all the chocolate I've eaten:) My hubs sent me flowers to show his love. And you know flowers aren't complete without chocolate. I can also not believe how I have not realized how delicious Ferrero Rocher is! Seriously, I have problems:)

Anyway! A picture of my flowers.

A picture of fresh salmon.

A picture of Fireweed

(click to make larger)

If I don't answer it's because I'm self medicating

Life has been less than calm lately. Our lease ends the last day in August and apparently that just recently sunk into my brain. So I have been all hot and bothered with trying to figure out what we are going to do. B, who will now be referenced as 'Sassy pants' from here on out, starts school in less than a month! (I can't even put into words how excited I am) So school has been on the forefront of my mind. So I've been researching. Since this is our first experience with children doing the school thing I was behind the eight by about a year or so with getting him on a charter school's list. tsk tsk.

Long story longer, our local school is ranked 83rd in a district of 120. In case you were wondering, yes, that is pretty bad.  So the hunt began for a new place to live in a better district. After being on craigslist, for basically 24 hours straight, the heavens opened and a beam of light streamed in my line of sight to a 3 bedroom townhouse across town. 

-insert singing angels here-

And the school is ranked...wait for it...wait for it...10th!!!! I have been ecstatic! So we move the end of this month.

Now enter trips to the liquor store and heavy sedatives for the kids

Our daughter, who will now be known as 'she-devil' has:

• played in the 10 lb bag of flour more than once
• decided her baby brother makes a fabulous stepping stone
• gotten the scissors out of the drawer and held the handle in her mouth while walking around the house
• thrown temper tantrums that I swear will get the DCF called on me

Why is this relevant? Because with this...child...running around how the heck am I supposed to get anything done? Honestly. I would like to know. I still have 2.5 weeks till the hubs gets home and he is planning on only needing one good moving day to get all out of here. PUH!!! Maybe I should ask him what the natives are giving him up there to alter his ability to think rationally...

Cause I would like some too.

p.s.-the wet pb i'm talking about is the dirty knife sitting in the sink, and Bajios is the best Mexican food you will ever eat

Lions and Tigers and BEARS oh my!!!!

 Alaska is known for it's bears. Dying by one was not a preferred way of death for me. See this post. So since I have realized the danger of this state that I live in...it's kind of amazing that I dared take my exercise outside...on trails. I think the fact that we are almost smack dab in the middle of the city, has given me a false sense of security when it comes to any danger. Of the animal kind that is. So imagine my surprise(and almost failed bowel control) when my friend and I were walking next to a baseball field and she says "there's a bear over there".

WHAT?!?!

Yes, there was indeed a black bear no more than 200 yards away!!!! HOLY MOLY!!!! I'm just glad that there was a big dumpster full of trash, that wouldn't put up a fight, between us and her! I don't believe I have ever looked behind my shoulder so much in my life. 

Needless to say that we bought a can of bear spray that night in preparation for the next mornings run. 

You can check it out here.

What's behind door number 3 Johnny?

(source)

 

What happens when there aren't any good, "normal" shows on the tv? You find things to watch. Our poison last night? Alaska's Most Extreme. The title alone should make you think twice about what you may be getting yourself into. I mean...sure there are shows that bolster "the most extreme", but that usually encompasses things from ALL over the world...not just one state!

Basically what this hour long TV program taught me is that I have a multiple array of things that could kill me while living here.No boring old age to take me now!

There are:

Avalanches

Volcanoes

Earthquakes

Tsunamis

Moose attacks

Bear attacks

and of course starvation because it's too expensive to buy food here!

You thought I was kidding? I think I've narrowed it down to how I want to go. But I'm going to go through the ways I don't want to go first.

I don't want to go in an avalanche. This is because I think the way that would go down is by suffocation. I say this because I most likely would be driving on the highway through the danger zone and I'm not sure it would kill me in impact. I don't want to be stuck in my mind thinking about how awful it is to be dying. 

I don't want to be trampled to death by a moose. This is pretty self explanatory. They are huge and unless it had some skill on where to hit me with a death blow...this is also a suffering way to go. No good. I saw a video on the show of one going hog wild on an old man. No thank you!

Same with a bear attack. I will stay in the middle of Anchorage if it means I will never see a bear! Grizzlies are the most dangerous bear and Alaska has roughly at least 25,000 of them running around!

Alaska has 40 active volcanoes! 40! And one of them last erupted in 1989 I think it said. Enough to cause wide spread panic for masks and water and all first aid supplies. And since we are on a super tight budget, I'm not sure we could even get in on the buying things to save us! I'm not so much worried about the lava...but the ash. Slow, drawn out death...again, no thank you. 

Tsunamis. This is a definite NO. I do not want to drown. Absolutely horrible way to die. You can think you can hold your breath that long and then....done. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it!

So I think the way I want to go would be in an earthquake. But only under these conditions! I want to be sleeping and I want it to be bad enough that the building just collapses and I don't know the difference:) Lol...shouldn't be too bad eh? So if I die in Alaska before the ripe old age of....100 those are my stipulations!

This was a bit more winded than I expected...hehe. But on another note....don't let this deter anyone from visiting me! You'll be fiiiiine! Nothing at all to worry about:)

A new kind of game

I'm still fighting the need to do something here in Alaska. I've looked at craigslist religiously trying to job a job, a play group, photography friends, and exercise of some kind. I think I finally found something to fill the void of whatever is missing, and that would be rugby. I know...can you believe it!!! I certainly can't. And to be honest...I had a few mis-firing brain connections when I first thought about doing it because I thought it was lacrosse. It wasn't until I was talking to my super smart hubby that I finally realized what I was committing myself too.

And then...reality!

I was ok with running around with a stick and getting beat up. But to discover that I would be running around with a bunch of  brute women and getting tackled...not ok. So for two weeks I was wishy washy about the whole thing. Could I do it? Really? Yea...I can do it and it's going to be awesome. I can't do it. Yes I can. No...really Meggan you can't...you're a wimp. Shut up...I can do it. And that got exhausting real quick:)

So, I put it in the back of my mind figuring I would decide, when the first practice came around, March 1st. So I took to trying to find a job instead. Because, remember, I had a void to fill and staying at home with the kids wasn't helping my mind. So I found a daycare that was hiring because at least that way I could bring the kids and get paid...even if my paycheck would just go to covering them being there. That was yesterday that I dropped that off. I got in a fight with Matt about not exercising and feeling useless. All in all...the day of the first practice was not looking too promising.

But.

At 6:04 I decided not to be a martyr. I finished feeding baby C, got myself dressed, and went. I actually went! Turns out getting out the door was way easier than finding building they were practicing in. Practice started at 630 and I walked in, to the right building, at 700. After 30 minutes of walking around trying to figure out where to go,cause no one seemed to know anything about a rugby practice, I was ready to call it quits and go home. Because clearly I wasn't supposed to go. It's a sign right?

NO!

I talked myself out of being a quitter. "You are just making excuses. You always do this. Get a little road block thrown in your way and you give up". Well I wasn't giving up this time. And I'm glad I didn't. The girls were all super nice and probably the exact opposites of 'brutes'. And I find personal amusement in the fact that there are THREE red heads on the team!

So...that's that. I am a member of the Arctic Foxes rugby team in Anchorage Alaska!

Go me! :D

daily news

What's going on around here? Surely fascinating things must be happening and that is why I haven't been on the blog...right? Well...let's see...we've had some of this:

The "office man"

B loves to play the "honey game". But I am boring. It's not nearly as fun playing this game with me as it was his grandmother. We play it for like 10 minutes before he's off in a corner crying and wishing he was back in Utah:) Just kidding about the crying bit...but I'm sure he thinks it in his mind. I try...but my imagination wasn't that big as a kid and it's only gotten worse:) And he really dislikes it when I tell him to pretend he's got his church pants on. I'm sorry...I don't need more laundry!

And we've had a lot of this:

And way more than enough of THIS:

Baby C still sleeps a decent amount(which is ok:)) and has done nothing but sleep since his dr appt yesterday. I'm hoping nothing is wrong with him and that he's just sleepy today. He weighed in at 13 lbs 2 oz, was 23 1/2 inches and his head was 40 something cm I think? Those numbers put him in the 80th % for weight, 75th % for height and 65th % for head. We knew he had a large head:) He checked out just fine so that was good.

Little Miss psychotic had a rough day yesterday. I think it was her teeth. I spotted the points in her gums from the 2 coming in next to her eye teeth. Gosh she's a miserable hag when she's teething. I just love being followed around the house by a screaming banshee!!! -find a happy place- lol. All seems to be well with her today...praise the Lord!

Since my days have been so productive...tell me about yours....