Sunday, September 7, 2014

I will go, I will do

The Lord has been speaking to me lately in the form of small promptings. The fact that I can hear them is amazing. I haven't been the best example of anything good, lately. Scripture reading is sporadic and my prayers aren't as meaningful as they could be for the amount of things I have going on. But I'm still being talked to. 
I've blogged on here about the struggles and challenges that a child of mine gives me and basically was counting down the minutes until she started kindergarten. 
Then it started. 
I became nervous about sending her to school. I was worrying. "She's still so little" I thought to myself. I tried to erase that thought and fill it in with "she will be fine. It's just because she's a girl that you're worrying". 
So I went school shopping for her. We got home from vacation and I thought she started the same week my oldest did. When I realized that she was a week later, I was so relieved. Why a weeks difference would be that much different, I don't know, but I felt better.
A week out from school and I started to panic a little. What was I going to do? Home school? Send her? Hold her back? I knew there was an answer for me and I would get it if I took it to prayer.
I got a very distinct answer, and that was to not send her to public school. 
I cried. 
I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and knows the struggle I have with my daughter. (even at such a young age) So why would he tell me to keep her home and not let us both have a break from each other? 
The past few days the reason has become apparent to me. Maybe not the 'whole' reason, but a piece of it. And I can honestly say that I am grateful that I kept her home. It hasn't been any more of a struggle than it usually is and now I get to be the one that helps her to learn. I'm the one that will be her beacon of knowledge and understanding. I love that little girl and I'm glad that HF has pushed me past what I thought I needed. 

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1 comment:

Undaunted said...

That seems to be the case with HF. He knows us better than we know ourselves. So we listen and life will work itself out. :)