I will go, I will do

The Lord has been speaking to me lately in the form of small promptings. The fact that I can hear them is amazing. I haven't been the best example of anything good, lately. Scripture reading is sporadic and my prayers aren't as meaningful as they could be for the amount of things I have going on. But I'm still being talked to. 

I've blogged on here about the struggles and challenges that a child of mine gives me and basically was counting down the minutes until she started kindergarten. 

Then it started. 

I became nervous about sending her to school. I was worrying. "She's still so little" I thought to myself. I tried to erase that thought and fill it in with "she will be fine. It's just because she's a girl that you're worrying". 

So I went school shopping for her. We got home from vacation and I thought she started the same week my oldest did. When I realized that she was a week later, I was so relieved. Why a weeks difference would be that much different, I don't know, but I felt better.

A week out from school and I started to panic a little. What was I going to do? Home school? Send her? Hold her back? I knew there was an answer for me and I would get it if I took it to prayer.

I got a very distinct answer, and that was to not send her to public school. 

I cried. 

I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and knows the struggle I have with my daughter. (even at such a young age) So why would he tell me to keep her home and not let us both have a break from each other? 

The past few days the reason has become apparent to me. Maybe not the 'whole' reason, but a piece of it. And I can honestly say that I am grateful that I kept her home. It hasn't been any more of a struggle than it usually is and now I get to be the one that helps her to learn. I'm the one that will be her beacon of knowledge and understanding. I love that little girl and I'm glad that HF has pushed me past what I thought I needed. 

So how was your day?

I'm quite sure that my child is going to drive me to the point of clinical insanity. 

No joke.

I have never in my life experienced dealing with a child that is as contrary, defiant, or strong willed as my daughter. 

Today was like something straight out of the manuscript for groundhog's day. She does something naughty. I tell her to go to timeout. She says no. I put her in timeout and she turns around and gets out of timeout. I count to three, with 3 going to her room for timeout. 

1, 2, 3

Up to her room I drag her because her feet and legs have quit moving by themselves. Hoist anchor. 

It's funny how heavy 32lbs gets when it's dead weight. 

Crying and pitching a fit the whole way. 

And I think to myself "what have I done to possibly warrant this"? 

Repeat scenario at least 3 times.

In between one of these timeouts I catch a blog of a mother with 5.5 kids. This particular post was about how her children got lost outside playing so they knelt down to pray and got help to get home. 

And then there's my kids. 

I really try not to compare myself to other Mom's but it's really quite hard when I have such a difficult child and no one really understands it. I get looks like "are you following through", or "your kid is completely out of control", and "good luck with that". 

I do follow though. 

I know my kid is out of control.

I don't need luck, I need an exorcism! 

This child is exhausting. 

I try not to take it personally, but how can't I when the words "I hate you" and "I hate Mom" spew forth from her 4 year old mouth? 

"They" say one day I'll look back on it and laugh. And they are probably right. From my cell, sitting on my mattress with a straight jacket on. 

 

She was a dancing queen

Turns out, I must have been too excited to get a decent aurora picture. Kinda bummed about that. I thought They would come out at least as good as last time...but I'm not crazy about them. I may post them anyway. Just not today. Instead, I'll share this. 

This girl loves to dance. All the time. I moved our table out of the 'formal' dining room for various reasons and since then the space it used to inhabit has become her dance studio. She's always in there twirling and jumping and doing whatever her imagination can come up with that dancers must do. Nap time, or quiet time as I call it, is filled with her playing in front of a cheap wal-mart mirror and watching herself do all sorts of dancer things. 

Until today. When she decided to make a bed on the mirror and break it. Silly kid. 

But never fear. As soon as we get the walls painted and all set for new baby girl and her to share a room I will be putting up a new mirror with a bar so she can really have a good time. This is my pinspiration

Cute huh:) 

Till I come here again,

Meg

It starts out with rainbows and sunshine...

and ends in bloodshed

She-devil met the tv stand and it didn't go over very well. They seem to have made up because she hasn't stopped running like a wild banshee through the living room.

Can't ever over-think it

I had a play date today at 10. This would run fairly close to the end of my workout. I usually get pretty sweaty, and knowing this I decided that I would brave it, and take a shower at the gym. It's pretty clean there and not too big so I could deal. And I really didn't want to go hang out at a friends house all sweaty under my arms and in my butt. 

It's only a shower...I don't need to pack for an extended vacation. So I packed my duffel bag and off I went.

Got my sweat on and was feeling pretty good. Went into the shower area, locked the door and then looked at the shower floor. I didn't think about my feet. Oi. What do I do? It can't be that bad. Should I wear my socks in? Or is that stupid? What do I do, what do I do. I turned the shower on...let the stray hairs go down the drain and...got in.

Don't judge me. I know I run the risk of serious bugs. Mental note, next time bring flip flops.

I also need to remember to take a cooler shower cause there's no fan. I felt like I was going through menopause and having the hot flash of my life! I haven't instantly started sweating after a shower since I lived in NH. And...I forgot deodorant. That's just swell. So I get all my clothes on and open up the door cause I can't stand it anymore and not two seconds after I hear my name.

"Meggan"?

'Yaaaah...'

"Ummm _____ kind of had an accident".

'Are you serious?' (obviously she was but apparently I needed to hear it again.)

"yea, she was standing and then peed and then said she had to go"

'ugh. awesome. ok.'

The only positive thing is that it's nice having two children, different ages, that are pretty close in size. So I stripped she-devil from the waste down, put on her brothers blue sno-puff suit and him into her purple coat. I left feeling eyes on me wondering why I was sexually confusing my children.

I guess it all worked out in the end. I got to go home and put deodorant on.

Catching my breath and getting a second wind

I had an awful few days last week/weekend. I haven't been that stressed out since we first moved here. The kids were cranky, Matt was/still is gone and the over-all adjustment period still isn't over I don't think. (moving here, school, Sibil)

But,

I have made progress! As of today she-devil has been diaper free for 10 days? She still sports the pull-up at night because I haven't quite figured out how to get her to understand what I expect of her. With sassy pants I think it was 'fear of God'. Plus he was older. That whole first experience was completely different than this one. But isn't that parenting? Major differences:

Sassy pants had no problems with peeing on the potty and loved getting little rewards. Number 2 was more difficult for him to do, either scared or whatever. He was dry at night right from the beginning.

She devil self initiated pooping all by herself and rewards don't mean squat. She's likes being cheered on more. Peeing was a huge pain in the butt. She didn't like to be made to sit but if I told her I had to go she danced right in with me and went.

We had some regression this weekend which put me in a huge foul mood. I think it was the switch in schedule and having Aunty here which is normal, but not normal for doing your business. And sassy pants was around...and there isn't any sort of calm when he's around:)

So we have made it over a huge hurdle in this house and I am feeling better about life. So much in fact that my SIL and I are going to start Mommy school in October. I'm getting myself amped up for it because I think I had an 'ah ha' moment, and realized that I am a stay at home mother. I should be throwing myself into the reason I am home. Enough of this tv watching, and get out of my hair nonsense. I'll be free to do whatever the heck I want when they are in school. Right?

Be of good cheer. If I can look at the positive and look to serve others(my children) then surely I should succeed!

And don't call me Shirley! lol

Respite

So the hubs as been home this week. Remember when I was super excited because it meant that I was going to get caught up on things? Yea. That never happened. Instead he came home and worked all day in the office also. I'm not complaining that he has a job that keeps him busy and well paid(so I can pay off our crap) but it would have been nice for some QT.

I mean I knew that the weeks were going to go by faster now that sassy pants is in school. But adding hubby working out of town and then working in town...I have lost track of days. It's flipping Friday already! He leaves tomorrow. And waking up at 7 isn't stopping. 

-eye roll-

I also have a nudist on my hands. Well she keeps the diaper on most of the time. I was coming back from getting sassy pants from the bus and she slipped out the door before I knew it. She had on her brothers shoes and a diaper and was trying to run away. It was like she had on flippers. I'm pretty sure I saw my neighbor laughing. I don't know what was worse...the fact she ran out in her diaper, 

or the fact that now the neighbors think I don't dress my kid.

She doesn't take no very well

Bedtime around here is usually at 7.With Alaskan summers being what they are I'm relatively surprised how well I have done. But there are those really busy and hectic nights that I just want to throw the kids in their pj's, say a prayer and call it good. This isn't the case when dealing with a very, persuasive, little girl.

Every night we do this little thing before she lets me leave her room. I typically say goodnight and "I love you" and she starts her routine of where I'm going to kiss her next. So I wait. "nose" I kiss the nose. "head" I kiss her head. -points to one eye "eye" I kiss her eye. -points to other eye "eye". And this continues until she has had enough pointing and grants me permission to leave. Yes, I'm being governed by a two year old. But if you were here and heard the screeching, and growling, and flailing against the door...you'd kiss the sweet face 800 times also.

Tonight, however, she switched it up. Instead of going right to the next thing on her list she says(with her finger on her chin and her thumb nearby) "hmmm...let's see". Ha ha ha! She cracks me UP! There is never a dull moment with her. Ever.

In other news, it looks like my little sister will be coming out here for school! How crazy is that?! You would remember her from this post. Ha ha. Anyway...her ticket is bought and she comes out Sunday! I'm pretty excited about it. She wanted us to have a sign ready, like we are her tour guides picking up a client. Whatever. :)

The quarterly switch up

Well I don't know if it's a quarterly switch up, but I have revamped. I think I can live with this for a while. I'm also trying to find an area of my life that I can focus on, or at least 'organize' most of it. While I would continue to update you all on my new life changing epiphany,....a certain child's dirty diaper is screaming to be changed. This will make today's grand total poopie diapers to 5  6. baby 4 she-devil 2.

Thank goodness potty training is right around the corner...

An early celebration

(click on images to make larger)

We celebrated she-devil's birthday a week or so early so that Daddy could be here. I'm not sure what it is about this girl's birthday parties but I stress out big time. Last year's party was super cute and I can not believe I didn't blog about it...hmph! Well anyway, it stressed me out. I blamed it on being preggers with boy number 2. So what is my excuse this year? No. I. Dea.
I'll just chalk it up to...just getting moved in. Yes! That will work. It worked out and, while it wasn't as elaborate as I have been known to throw, she seemed as happy as any two year old could be with her "birday" :)
I hold no promises to what will happen for sassy pants' birthday though. I'm thinking....

Aaaaaarg me matey!

If I don't answer it's because I'm self medicating

Life has been less than calm lately. Our lease ends the last day in August and apparently that just recently sunk into my brain. So I have been all hot and bothered with trying to figure out what we are going to do. B, who will now be referenced as 'Sassy pants' from here on out, starts school in less than a month! (I can't even put into words how excited I am) So school has been on the forefront of my mind. So I've been researching. Since this is our first experience with children doing the school thing I was behind the eight by about a year or so with getting him on a charter school's list. tsk tsk.

Long story longer, our local school is ranked 83rd in a district of 120. In case you were wondering, yes, that is pretty bad.  So the hunt began for a new place to live in a better district. After being on craigslist, for basically 24 hours straight, the heavens opened and a beam of light streamed in my line of sight to a 3 bedroom townhouse across town. 

-insert singing angels here-

And the school is ranked...wait for it...wait for it...10th!!!! I have been ecstatic! So we move the end of this month.

Now enter trips to the liquor store and heavy sedatives for the kids

Our daughter, who will now be known as 'she-devil' has:

• played in the 10 lb bag of flour more than once
• decided her baby brother makes a fabulous stepping stone
• gotten the scissors out of the drawer and held the handle in her mouth while walking around the house
• thrown temper tantrums that I swear will get the DCF called on me

Why is this relevant? Because with this...child...running around how the heck am I supposed to get anything done? Honestly. I would like to know. I still have 2.5 weeks till the hubs gets home and he is planning on only needing one good moving day to get all out of here. PUH!!! Maybe I should ask him what the natives are giving him up there to alter his ability to think rationally...

Cause I would like some too.

p.s.-the wet pb i'm talking about is the dirty knife sitting in the sink, and Bajios is the best Mexican food you will ever eat