I will go, I will do

The Lord has been speaking to me lately in the form of small promptings. The fact that I can hear them is amazing. I haven't been the best example of anything good, lately. Scripture reading is sporadic and my prayers aren't as meaningful as they could be for the amount of things I have going on. But I'm still being talked to. 

I've blogged on here about the struggles and challenges that a child of mine gives me and basically was counting down the minutes until she started kindergarten. 

Then it started. 

I became nervous about sending her to school. I was worrying. "She's still so little" I thought to myself. I tried to erase that thought and fill it in with "she will be fine. It's just because she's a girl that you're worrying". 

So I went school shopping for her. We got home from vacation and I thought she started the same week my oldest did. When I realized that she was a week later, I was so relieved. Why a weeks difference would be that much different, I don't know, but I felt better.

A week out from school and I started to panic a little. What was I going to do? Home school? Send her? Hold her back? I knew there was an answer for me and I would get it if I took it to prayer.

I got a very distinct answer, and that was to not send her to public school. 

I cried. 

I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and knows the struggle I have with my daughter. (even at such a young age) So why would he tell me to keep her home and not let us both have a break from each other? 

The past few days the reason has become apparent to me. Maybe not the 'whole' reason, but a piece of it. And I can honestly say that I am grateful that I kept her home. It hasn't been any more of a struggle than it usually is and now I get to be the one that helps her to learn. I'm the one that will be her beacon of knowledge and understanding. I love that little girl and I'm glad that HF has pushed me past what I thought I needed. 

Sisters

 I'm crazy about these girls. They drive me crazy. And I love them like crazy. Lil' sis is crawling around like a champ and pulls up on everything. She is slowly getting her feet under her and walking along furniture. She's also a biter. It looks like something out of a horror film. She jabber jabber jabbers and then BOOM! She's attacking my leg like it's a piece of fried chicken! So much hostility in her mouth.

Then there's big sis. Oh the drama. *exasperated sigh* I hope we can find a balance between the two of us so that we can get a great relationship now and it will last. That probably means working on myself. 

Bottom line though....

Crazy about them

Aaaaaand she's 3!

 Little girl turned three. I'm a little late in posting but that's ok. She had a great time. It was simple and just family...just the way we like it:) Not sure I'll get away with Mr B's being low key this year. That's ok. I've decided I am combining his birthday with little dudes. Anyway...here's some pictures. Enjoy!

eating sophisticated food

I am a sweet potato kind of girl. Plain, buttered, mashed, or put into a sweet potato pie is how I roll. Apparently my baby doesn't agree. His reaction to the sweet, smooth taste of them...'huuuuugghhh". I don't know if that represents the gag reflex but I tried! Ha! Yes, his little face scrunches up, the mouth makes an "o", and the tongue comes out just a tad...and then the huuugggghhh. Lol! But I will not easily be deterred! I coaxed him into eating pretty much the whole jar-minus the few spoons that made their way to my mouth weren't fit for eating. I have to make sure he gets his veggies because, if I were to just feed him yummy fruits, I fear that his butter-ball self will just continue to grow at an out of control rate! I mean...the boy's already working on his Michelin man look! And he has just discovered his toes this week...oh my gosh I don't remember thinking babies eating toes was as cute as it is!!!! Check it out! Frankly...I'm in awe that the boy can even lift his leg that high!

did you see the sausage legs he's sporting?!

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I love macaroni and cheese. 

No really. I need to stop kidding myself when I think I'm not going to eat it and that I will have a salad instead. I think that because I always make it with hot dogs...and the only and I mean ONLY time I will eat a hot dog is if I'm pregnant and it's the only thing available to shove in my famished mouth! Back to the point...whenever I make said dinner I typically plan on eating something less processed. (but I feed the super processed to my kids? really?) ANYWAY....I made up dinner for the older two and made up some sweet taters for the baby and got them all fed before I fed myself. Then I had a bite of the leftover mac and cheese,which was a generous amount because my kids...well...they're kids.

And then the pan was empty. 

Do you know what happens to kids that eat hot dogs and mac and cheese...and then the older one drinks the juice in a fruit cocktail can(huuuuggghhh-gag me)? They act like this,

Then they go to bed at normal time and continue to play in their room until 930 pm. That is 2 1/2 hours!!!!!! Go to freaking sleep already!!!!! No? Ok....I will! 

Good night! Well, after Desperate Houswives of course!

what is wrong with me?

So the cutest thing has happened in the last couple of days. Baby C has started sucking his thumb! Neither of the other two have done this. They have been binky babies. We have tried and tried to get baby C to take a binky, on numerous occasions, to no avail. Then on Sunday, at church, we had a break through! The little dude found his thumb! And since that day he has become better and better at finding it and sticking it in his mouth. 

Awesome right?

I wish I could say it was awesome. I mean, it is, really...but I feel so...left out now. Instead of being inconsolable, he is self soothing. It certainly makes for fabulous full nights rest, but I feel like I've been replaced. You pair thumb sucking and my decision to quit nursing...and I am a walking guilt trip! I seriously think he has some animosity towards me now. It's his eyes. And the fact that this morning he didn't look at me once while I was feeding him. I'm mortally wounded!

I will survive the distant stares, and quiet sucking of the thumb that is so utterly adorable and the cause of wounding to my soul...

But only because he is so stinkin cute! It must be the extra sleep I'm getting now that has let my brain function on more than 2 cylinders :) 

Go to my Flickr people...I put up some way cute pictures of the kids that I took within this week. And I want a comment telling me you've seen them! So go...now!

Things that have come to my attention

Lol, so I have learned a few things today in particular. As state din my previous post, I have joined a rugby team, and part of that is basically signing away your life in waivers. So, that got me thinking that...I could 1) die a horrible death from playing a sport with no sort of protection outside of a mouth guard or 2) get paralyzed from crashing head on into Bertha! So this afternoon was spent fretting over my safety and hoping I wouldn't die and causing a severe series of knots in my stomach. Well I went anyway. And would you believe it, I hurt myself.

My poor pinkie. It's jammed.Within the first 15 minutes. What crap. And you know, hurting such a little component of the body puts a severe cramp in anything having to do with passing a ball!

I learned that Alaska obviously did not take any of Obama's money to help the roads. The highways have a serious groove in them. So much so that it's like being on tracks. I seriously have to make an effort to turn the wheel. I also have never questioned my ability to drive so much as I have here. There are one way roads all over the place. But in these one ways....you would think there would be divider lines right? Wrong!

The lines, that I'm sure used to be there, are not visible. So I drive along feeling like I am in a pack of dogs, or a herd of bison. Not in my safe little area tucked between two white lines, letting my fellow drivers know "hey...I'm here, don't cross"! It's like we are all just driving...in the same general direction...don't worry about weaving in and out...just move. It's nerve wracking to say the least.

I have also discovered, more affirmed I guess, that our baby is by far the most needy child we have!!! I picked up a small can of formula today so that when I leave for practice he can not starve to death like he thinks he does! Well...guess who flat out refused to drink the formula?! Yea...you guessed it...Mr needy pants! This is very bad news. A child that refuses to eat formula on rare occasions is certainly not going to let his mother get off too easy when it comes time to wean. Let's be serious...I'm not going to breastfeed forever. The longest I've gone is 6 months. And that was with B. So...this puts an interesting spin to things:) I don't think I'm ready to think about whipping it out when he's almost a year old. lol. And pumping is such a pain. -deep sigh-

Help me out people....what is a mother to do:)