Feelingssssssss

Today as I was folding laundry I had a small moment of sadness. Well, laundry always makes me sad, but this was a different kind;) My second boy, my baby, is so big now. That saying that mothers  hear all the time from grandparents "enjoy them while they are little because they grow so fast" resonated in me. That little boy wears 4T clothes now. Cuddles are getting further apart, and it really made me sad today. 

I'm also missing my parents. It's not easy to have their only grandchildren 3000 miles away. I'm sad for them that they are missing out. Family is the most important so why are we so far away from them? Bleh. :) 

I love these kids with all my heart. 

A face-lift

Sometimes you just need a quick face-lift to make you feel better. Of course I've never had a face-lift so I really can't make that claim. But this blog needed something to make it better feeling.

We are just about 25 weeks into this pregnancy. I have to say, these last few weeks have taken forever. Forever. 

Spring is flirting with us here in Alaska and I wish she'd stop being prude. I could use some warm sunshine and no more snow on the ground. 

I could also use a baby name. We still haven't figured one out for girl #2 that's making me look farther along than I am. Any suggestions? Granted, I probably will just shoot them down...but why not humor me:) Please. I'm desperate.

This was a bunch of randomness. But I feel better. And this picture will make you feel better.

Yes. She is crazy. We are aware.

Ants in my pants

It's the time of year again when the "crazy" takes over my brain and I find myself bored. No, technically I'm not 'bored', but find myself uninspired. So when I can't shake the crazies anymore I start searching the Internet. For houses. Moving is always the answer isn't it? Nothing like packing up your life, finding a "new" and "exciting" place to take up residence for a while.

I wonder where this comes from. I lived in one place for 21 years. Then we moved to Utah. And it's been a yearly cycle since then. I can't stay put for very long before I want to do something else. I started a random series of posts about traveling somewhere diff every week...here and here. And I watch HGTV religiously. More than desperate housewives if you can believe that! Point being...I have something in me that can't. sit .still.

This past Friday we went and looked at a house that a friend of Matt's is moving out of. I had built up so much anticipation about this being the house because it was big and had land. Well, the layout sucked and Matt really didn't want the hour+ commute every day. Back to the internet. In the smart part of my head i know it is smarter to stay where we are. The rent is good and we are able to pay down other debts we have. But I'm stir crazy and all of my other hobbies just seem so....boring.

I'll be grateful when the weather gets a little better, and I can find healthier outlets than sitting and daydreaming about going to Puerto Rico, or Ireland and ALL that would be involved in that trip;)

So friends, how do you spend your mid winter days?

I'm desperate

Desperate for Desperate Housewives that is! Yes, season 7 came out yesterday and since season 8 starts in less than a month, I have some watching to do.  This also means that my picture editing is getting behind. Which is fairly annoying since I have some pretty good ones. 

But in other news, the youngest (who will from now on be referred to as Mr hippo) is cranky. Like whining/crying/grumpy all day. I find it difficult to have sympathy after hours and hours and hours of this behavior. I know something isn't right, but it gets trying. And he and his sister have both have some less than pleasant bowel movements-I know that thrills you all to death-. I think I'm just justifying my tv watching as a result of the constant poo diapers and clingy children.

Man, I'm boring myself tonight. So with that, I am leaving you. I will go get myself some butterfinger ice cream *to eat my emotions* and watch some more DH *to enjoy someone elses fake drama*.

Night!

This week our family has been blessed. No, we didn't win the lottery or meet some new best friends. Our daughter has decided to vocalize! We now have the blessings of hearing mine, mil(milk), tee(teeth), moeee(more) and daddy. Small start I know, but it's a heck of a lot better than just plain screaming all the time! 

Today I put her down for a nap after changing her poopy pants, and of course she wasn't happy about it! I left the room to her crying and saying "daddy,...daddy.....daddy" like Matt was really going to go save her:) The girl can hope!

Our eldest needs something to do. He's bored out of his mind. We are really hoping and praying that we can scrounge up the dough for him to join a pop warner football league this summer. I know he wants to...so it's just a matter of funding it. Matt and I are also trying to come up with a plan on how to get him to 'want' to be good. So if anyone has any ideas or has seen some cool ideas online or has friends that have a system that works...PLEASE pass it on! I know I'm tired of dealing with freak outs and obstinate behavior.

My dear husband of whom I love so much has tomorrow off. I'm certainly glad for the extra hands on one hand...and not on the other:) Our pediatricians office gave us a cool book on things to do with kids in Anchorage and I found a park in their I want to check out tomorrow. There's a whole list of trails also...so when we lose a bit more snow I plan on taking the kids on them.

blah...alright. I'm out! Oh! If anyone can tell me why if "Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest" that my kids refuse to nap?!

I don't know how long I'll last

Wow this winter is drrrraaaggggiiiiinnnng. And, quite frankly,  I have nothing interesting to speak about today. So I guess I'll just put some more pictures because that's what I've been doing. 

And as a side note...my brother in law is involved with the Libya stuff via the navy, so if you could keep them in your thoughts/prayers that they are safe and can come home quickly that would be mighty kind o' ya! 

 You see her staring? Yea,...this stare had me back step behind the safety of our complex' fence!

These are from Cook Inlet. It sits right next to the airport so the planes come and go right there. It's really neat how up close and personal you get.

Denial, depression, and repentance

I'm not going to lie and say this is the best news to me. Bit of a shock actually. I think I have narrowed my issue with it down to the facts that 1) Mr. Cat's job is really up in the air 2) because of this whole job thing that is why we are living with his brother 3) I always worry about what people/family is going to think. I know there comes a time in a persons life when they have to start living for their own happiness and not the approval of others. I haven't quite reached that point yet. I'm working on it...and have made strides, but there is still a part that over analyzes what the reaction will be. This guilt and frustration really is taking a toll on my mental health:) I've noticed that my patience with my  budding and imaginative son isn't what it used to be. I feel bad for that. I feel bad for this denial and what repercussions it could have. So,...here it goes. Mr. Cat and our family are expecting another wee one in December! Yea. It is fairly overwhelming since our baby now is still so much a baby. But, people do this kind of stuff all the time right? And on top of it all....I really honestly know that Heavenly Father had a part in it, ok...maybe not a part but the whole thing:) And while I am still trying to keep that in the fore front of my mind, it's hard. I feel like I have been slacking as a mother, and adding another on top will make me fail more. And on top of all those feelings,...I have a friend who has a friend that I blog stalk, and this woman wants nothing more than to feel sick, and get fat, and have all the pregnancy things that I am selfishly wanting to deny. That's not right. -sigh-. So my life has been an upheaval of all sorts of emotions and ponderings that I didn't think I would ever feel. So, I'm sorry to myself for being so wrapped up in what others think. I'm sorry to Heavenly Father for thinking he hates me:)  I'm sorry to Shannon and the struggles that she goes through and my selfish feelings of not being grateful for the blessing that I am carrying. I'm sorry to our bean for these feelings and I hope that I can get my head out of my butt soon. So, here's the little one's first picture.

she does live

I'm not dead! Will post...when I am not so tired from traveling :P

Angry Elf

I'm an angry elf. Don't ask why...because...well...I couldn't tell you the answer. People are just super irritating lately. No one in particular...just the race as a whole. lol. Just one of those weeks where I am praying fervently for Mr. Cat to get a job in Alaska so we can all move to Anchorage and be done with it all. But that won't fix the fact that my son is driving me to want to drink. So I could just leave him out for the polar bears to get. :) But then there's the fact that all my friends babies seem to be faster at things than mine. Yes I am WELL AWARE that all kids are different...but I KNOW I'm not the only one who compares. It's not doing me any good...comparing. Probably just making my blood pressure go up. That and wondering what is going to happen with my life since Mr. Cat is looking at unemployment in June if he can't get another job before then. And wonderful Obama isn't doing jack for this country so the unemployment rates are still up which makes it much harder to get hired because employers are able to be super picky. Actually...I take that back...he is doing jack. He makes it better to be on unemployment making 30k a year than helping people get off their fat *expletive* and get jobs. Ok, I think I'm off my rant....maybe. I hope everyone else hasn't been attacked by the angry elf's. :)

Meg

Have you ever spent like your whole day sitting in front of the computer? Doing things that get you completely sucked in and you just can't stop...only long enough to make sure the kids are happy, fed, changed(if need be) and quiet? I have. Does this make me a bad mom? Don't answer that! 

Is anyone else so attached to their spouse that they start to completely unravel if they are 15 minutes late from when they are usually home? 

Am I the only one that really wants my kid to know the basics of reading and spelling and math and know that it is really easy to do a little bit each day and don't? And the see other kids his/her age that are learned in those things and feel like a terrible person because instead of teaching I sit on the computer all day?

Anyone else go to church and get completely uplifted only to have it crash down and burn the next day? 

Needless to say I'm feeling these things and was wondering if I was the only one?




*I don't stay on the computer all day, but I'm on it probably more than I should:/*

Today was supposed to start my running routine with Mr. Cat. I set the alarm for 407am. I woke up with the alarm at 407 am. I was wide awake. Did I pull myself out of bed? No. Instead I laid awake. I took me at least a half hour to fall back to sleep. So what was the reason I didn't just go? Really? Laziness? Fear of failure? Too early? I don't know. But after thinking about it all day...I'm mad at myself. This is something I want to do. So suck it up and do it!

My neighbors daffodils have flowered. Chris' have a few more days till they do I think. 

It's gotten cold this afternoon. I had my bedroom window open but had to shut it because it was chilling the whole house. And now it's spitting rain drops. 

The kiddos are sitting on my bed watching Clifford. Sesame street just got over. We turned it on in time to Elmo's world. Miss C thought he was pretty neat. She kept smiling at him. She's getting so big. I'm excited to see her at B's age, but really don't want her to grow anymore:) 

Well, till the next random post,

Meg

Ick.
That's how I feel.
One kid was sick last night/today.
One kid decided to wear a whiney pants crown.
I have a nasty headache.
Ate too many peanut butter bars.
Didn't make dinner.
Didn't take any pictures.
Haven't burned more than 1600 calories today.
Boo0hoo.
I'm whining...because everyone else seems to be doing it,
so whine can't I?!

Monday



dishes piled in the sink, waiting to be loaded in the dishwasher


my floor that desperately needs to be swept and mopped. but I don't feel like doing it today.



my poor plant that was a victim of the cold before we moved.....


my blue water bottle. I am never more than a few feet from it


my scriptures and sunday school manual. I really need to open them more often. my soul needs it.



clutter on my stairs. the house isn't "normal" without the stuff that will only take 2 seconds to put away, but somehow never makes it



train city



the city's giant conductor




hard at play. figuring out how to maneuver the rug in different contortions that meet his needs



looking out the window that is always covered. it lets in a lot of light during the day. gives a whole new feeling to the downstairs when it's open.



thanks for looking at my Monday with me

-Meg

homeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm home. Still waiting for a moment to relax...not sure it's going to happen:) So...this is mostly going to be pictures again:) I have to read Harry Potter:) And do laundry. And fix a cushion. And take more pictures. ANd drink more water. Bah! Here you go:)

my hollyhocks bloomin'



My neighbors sweet goat! lol



preggo belly at 31 wks 6 days

his Dad tied him up because he wouldn't cooperate getting dressed...lol

Kung Foo Panda

The fam is going to see this movie tonight. I wanted to see it in IMAX....but no love. The theatre was packed already. So I will suffer and go to the one in Ogden...poor me:) I'm hoping B will enjoy it. Mr. M is home now. Got out a little early today...YAY!

Tomorrow the crazy women and I are going to a giant yard sale at the Weber Fairgrounds. Should be cool. I'm going to see if I can find some old kitchen cabinet hardware. After that...the old men are going golfing. So...till I feel like posting again...
Meg